Carrying the Cross

Too often, we wonder why it is that we cannot feel God. That we cannot know Him more. It seems that, regardless of how hard we try to come closer to Him, we never seem to actually feel Him. Why is that? What is it that we need to do to really come closer to God?

Like coming closer to any other intelligent, living being, we need to do certain things – it doesn’t just happen. Are you good friends with the neighbors three doors down? Why not? Because you haven’t done those things that are needed to be close to them. Have you spent time with them? Have you thought about them recently? Have you done things for them that would please them – given them anything they might want? Have you spoken to them at any length, about anything of importance? If you have done these things, chances are, you are close to those neighbors. If you haven’t, you probably aren’t.

There is no difference with God. Once we know Him, it takes more than just being in the neighborhood to actually be close to Him. We need to spend time with Him, do things for Him, think about Him throughout the day. We need to speak with Him about things that are important. If we do those things, we will find ourselves coming closer to Him.

We can spend time with Him in our Bible reading. We can spend time with Him in our coming together as a church, whether that be on Sunday mornings for a service or during the week for dinner or a Bible Study. Today, I want to spend time talking to you about spending time with God in prayer.

“But I do spend time in prayer,” you say, but you still don’t feel close to Him. Maybe it’s because the way you pray! Watching the film “Meet the Parents”, we find Greg trying hard to pray. But he unfortunately is doing several things wrong. Let’s take a look at his prayer and then see what prayer should be.

First, we see a long monolog. Why do we feel that when we talk to God, it has to be this long, one-sided monolog? What would happen if we spoke to our friends that way? Would we still have friends? Greg was praying this way because he was trying to impress his future in-laws. The Bible tells us not to pray to impress. Matthew 6:5-8 "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. We don’t need to pray long prayers to impress people. Nor do we need to pray long prayers to be heard. When we speak to our friends, we speak in short sentences, sometimes we put two or three together and then we listen. This is how we should pray also. How much pressure comes off when you don’t need to pray long prayers and you can just say what you need to Him?

Also, notice how many times Greg says “Lord” or “God”. The whole movie, he doesn’t call anyone by their name as much as he does God in this prayer. When I speak to you, do I say your name every sentence, sometimes twice per sentence? “Bill, How’s it going? Bill, I think it’s great that you came today. We are really blessed by your presence Bill and Bill, it would be great if you could help out with the prayer. And Bill, could you hand out the bulletins? Thanks Bill.” I think Bill would think something was wrong with me. Yet, we pray like that all the time, don’t we? “Oh God, we thank you God, for being here with us, God. Please God, hear our prayer and bless us God. You are the great God, o Lord, and you watch over us o God.” Sound a little familiar? So what’s really wrong with this? Well, nothing really – God loves that we pray to Him and if our prayer isn’t perfect, He doesn’t care. With Him, it’s not about grammar. The problem isn’t with God, it’s with us. If we pray like this, it is completely unlike the way we typically act with people we love. We don’t do that with our spouses, our children, our parents, our friends. When we pray like that, we make our relationship with God more formal, less familiar and therefore this helps to keep us from becoming close with Him.

Greg has the desire to use big, formal language to talk with God. "You are an accommodating God”, “Sweet Lord of Hosts”, “for the smorgasbord you have so aptly lain at our table”. This is funny because we understand it. We feel the same way! We think we need to have these fancy prayers for them to be heard. So if our prayers are normal, with simple words and short sentences, we feel like we didn’t do our prayers justice. “Thank you for the food you have given us today, Lord” seems like there’s something missing. But there isn’t. By making our prayers more like our normal conversations with anyone else we might speak to, we remove from our relationship the formality and allow ourselves to be that much closer to God.

When Greg begins praying the song “Day by Day” it seems so funny. Why? The words actually make up a beautiful prayer “Lord, three things I pray: to see you more clearly, know you more dearly, follow you more nearly day by day.” So why is it funny? Because, we don’t typically pray a song, even if it fits and even if the song is a prayer. In the same way, our prayer life is stunted if we pray rehearsed or memorized prayer. Our prayers should come from our hearts and spirits, from God’s leading. They should not be repetitious prayers spoken because we have always said that. If you happen to repeat the same thing all the time, that doesn’t mean that your prayer is less as long as you mean every word you are saying from your heart. The danger becomes when we are just saying prayers without really thinking about the words. The Lord’s Prayer is one of the most wonderful prayers we can pray, but if we are just saying the words and not really understanding what we are saying, then it is just babbling. “Your Kingdom come” should mean that we are waiting for Jesus to take us back with him. “Your will be done” should mean that we put our will aside and we put God’s will ahead of ours. It means that even if bad things begin to happen to us, we thank God always because we know His will is being done. We can say repetitious prayers, but let’s know what we are saying and not just repeat words. Better yet, let’s say the prayers that God lays on our hearts because those are the ones that he wants us to say.

Another part of growing closer to God is to spend time with God in group prayer. You can have some wonderful prayer times with God in your prayer closet, alone just you and Him. It is imperative that we spend that time alone with God. However, some of the best prayer times you will ever have are with other people. That is how God made us – to spend time with Him and to spend time with others. He tells us that when two or more are gathered in His name, he is there with us. God performs great miracles in groups. The best witness for Him comes when we come together in prayer. That means taking the time to do this, not just doing it when it is convenient. It also means understanding group dynamics. Everything we just said about private prayer – no monologs, short sentences, not being repetitious – still stands. But now, we also recognize that there are others in the conversation. We need to be sure that everyone has the opportunity to speak what God has laid on their hearts.

We need to take turns. We need to be aware that other people have rights, feelings and desires. We need to stay on subject. That said, we don’t need to be self-conscious or embarrassed. We are talking to God! He knows what’s on our hearts already. And as for what everyone else might think, we already showed how we shouldn’t be worried about what other people think. We’re not praying to impress anyone; we’re praying to come together in agreement, growing our relationship with God.

So when we pray together, we should do it like this: One person should present their prayer to God. It could be a request, or it could be a statement of thanksgiving, of God’s grace or God’s person and holiness, mercy and righteousness. Whatever the prayer, it should be short and it should just be about that one thing. We typically would want to pray about several things at the same time – thanks for his provision, praise for his Holiness, request for His salvation, request for the healing of someone. But this leads to long monologs that can potentially quench the Spirit’s work within the group. So we just pray for one of these things. When the person has presented the prayer to God, we wait to see if anyone else has on their heart the desire to lift up the same prayer. When we pray in agreement, it shows that we are praying in God’s will. Maybe one other person prays. Maybe several agree. Once everyone has had the opportunity to pray on that request, wait until the Spirit leads someone to pray on the next subject. So an example of what a prayer session might sound like would be like this:

Person 1 – Loving Father, we ask that you bring salvation to my co-worker Doug. Use me to say the right things and do the right things to help him to know you.

Person 2 – Yes Lord, work in Doug’s life and let him know who you are. Give Person 1 the words to say to help him know you.

Person 3 – And God, if it’s your will, let Doug even come into this church so he can learn more about you and the truth of who you are.

Pause…

(Waiting to see if the Spirit has impressed on anyone to pray something more for Doug. Since no one else has anything, we move on…)

Person 2 – Lord, also guard over the persecuted church. Especially those churches that are worshipping you in secrecy. Give them your strength to carry on. Give them your wisdom to grow your kingdom. Give them your peace that surpasses all understanding. Keep them safe.

Person 4 – Yes Father, help them to feel your presence even as they struggle with the dangers of this world. Keep them close to you and let them know you are there.

Person 2 - …

Etc…

By following these simple steps, I truly believe that anyone can come closer to God. Through private prayer, in intimate conversation, just speaking to God remembering that He is really right there with you, hearing you speak to Him. Also, through group prayer, sharing in conversation and desires with our brothers and sisters in Christ, growing closer to Him and to each other as we lift up our prayers and concerns and praises to Him together.

Send mail to david@TheArkNY.org with questions about the church or comments about this site.
Last modified: May 16, 2007